A Lack of Dedication

Well, at first this was going to be a blog for guiding a Bible study, but then I realized something... I have too much going on. Not for my personal study, but to rewrite things that can be understood by the rest of the human population. I began to feel bad, but then I asked myself, "What would I have to update only on an every other week basis?" Then the answer came! But, before the answer is given you must know what exactly I have felt lead to do within the last year.
'Backround':
I had been struggling with a sense of needing to know where I was going to be at 18. I mean who doesn't? I feel like the external pressures of needing a solidified plan seeps in to everyones everyday life. Then the term adolesence became nausiating to me. It was created in the industrial revolution for anyone under the age of 18, but why did it seem that I was going to be stuck in it forever? Sure, it helped working conditions, but in all seriousness, who did it help? No one. In so many cultures 13 was an age of marraige and growth, an age of responsibility and starting your life. My family has always referred to me as an old soul because I was ready to be 'grown' at 13, to me though, I feel like my mentality is where it was meant to be. But, that's besides the point... I'm in the era I'm in and I suppose you just need a good rant every now and then. Where was I ? Oh, right. Freshman year goes on and sophomore does too, well until the end of first semester that is. I realized I had a passion for people with much less than I, but also foreign people with less. I felt the calling and the Lord was leading me to a different place for the rest of my life. I suppose it sounds skeptical, the word led. Every Christian says, "I feel led to go to a foreign country and give up everything." Ultimately we see maybe a week given up for foreign missions and a handful for lifetime. But seriously, I Sarah E. Beecham knew for a fact I would be gone... but where? I just decided to give it up to God. I was going to work on Servant Team at Snowbird (swoutfitters.com) that summer and was just going to go in with nothing in mind. In fact, I was hoping God would call me to some other profession, but it's funny how God likes to scare out little brains out. We just can't comprehend what He's thinking. So May comes and I go to camp to serve, well, my plan of a new profession was smothered. He made it crystal clear that foreign missions was for me. Then I saw India everywhere that summer. Kilby Lee, the prayer chapel, and my dreams. (Might I remind you this was merely a few months ago so these images are still vivid.) So you'd think I'd say okay God, India. Nope, I was stubborn and said, okay God, I'll go anywhere but there. Ha! Sounds funny now, but was ever so real when I said it. The summer was coming to a close and school came then I talked to my friends dad (who is a pastor) and he tells me his church is going to India next year and I swear in that moment I felt the presence of God. I knew I had to go eventually. Not necessarily with that church, although I'd love to, but it would come. September a friend lent me The Irresistbale Revolution and part of the book was about the author's trip to India. The author had stayed with Mother Teresa's organization in Calcutta and it hit me again, that feeling of need and desire to be in India, but this time I acted on it.
I called the organization recently and asked if I could have the oppurtunity to come for 6 months after graduation in 2012. I will come back and pursue a career that will help people in said country and will move back with my degree. Well, if God even permits me to attend college. For now though, we'll just say I am for the sake of my mom's sanity.
Well, here's to a lack of dedication and the start of a new beginning. Here's to India!